Home NEWS GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar solely a cartel may love

GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar solely a cartel may love

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So, America’s least widespread actuality present remains to be going robust. Sure, I am speaking concerning the Bachelor Southern Border. Hundreds of thousands of unlawful, most of whom appear to be wholesome younger males, are strolling away from all the opposite gals on the planet to cozy as much as the world’s most eligible bachelorette. That attractive girl within the lengthy, flowing robe. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty. Or as I prefer to name her, a six. I imply, come on, we may have carried out higher. So many hotter immigrants. So a migrant touring from Venezuela will actually stroll by six different international locations earlier than hitting the Texas border. How do they do this? I am going 5 blocks and I am exhausted. So is my driver. Now, for those who’re so determined that it’s important to flee your nation on foot with out a visa or perhaps a passport, aren’t you determined sufficient to not be picky? Would not you be happy with the primary affordable possibility? Not everybody will get to marry the promenade queen. I imply, I used to be dumped by mine. As a result of she was an excessive amount of into cheerleading observe and getting good grades. That, and I used to be 48. 

VIDEO SHOWS DOZENS OF MIGRANTS DELIVERED TO BORDER BEFORE ENTERING US ILLEGALLY

However why come right here when there are such a lot of locations earlier than us with individuals who converse the language and have higher meals? Nicely, it is easy. Roughly six seconds after his saggy, dented ass hit the Oval Workplace chair, Joe threw out a welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tierra del Fuego. He might as properly put up indicators in Mexico saying, “Do not cease! In a number of miles, you may get free meals and intercourse adjustments for those who homicide somebody.” I do know. On high of that, the UN simply introduced a plan giving $1.6 billion to 17 Latin American international locations, partially within the type of pay as you go debit playing cards for migrants. Now, the UN will get 20% of its price range from us, so we’re really paying the migrants to return right here. And what have you learnt? All of the sudden, the U.S. had roughly 10 million new contestants that determined we are the one. Which is why it is about time to interchange the Statue of Liberty’s torch with a can of pepper spray.

Metaphorically! It is an analogy. Not actually. I do not assume they make them that large. As a result of the White Home has turned the Statue of Liberty right into a $10 waterfront hooker. No shock it takes progressivism to its inevitable endpoint. You aren’t getting Paradise. You get chaos. No individual is prohibited. Everyone seems to be welcome. That sounds nice in my scorching tub till the whole nation of Bolivia reveals up, then it sounds nice. So what is the injury? Nicely, we acquired a tug of battle over razor wire, an occasion verging on a constitutional disaster. There’s additionally the well-deserved impeachment hearings for DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, who seems to be like a cross between James Carville and a Kaiser roll. Mayorkas is a border czar solely a cartel may love. So go forward, impeach away. However let’s not get distracted. The administration has painted themselves right into a nook, which is why they’re now altering the foundations. All of the sudden, we’re being instructed we should negotiate, that we’re near attaining bipartisan laws. Bipartisan. Makes you surprise who they’re making an attempt to purchase. In any case, why the hell do now we have to barter a border? Wasn’t that a part of the unique deal? 

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The reality is, we do not want laws. It is not that onerous. See, when the nice orange wall often known as Trump got here into workplace, he instituted the coverage known as Stay in Mexico. Which, by the way in which, is precisely the identical factor I instructed Menudo. They usually did. Nevertheless it was simply that. An government order, a coverage issued by the president. All it took was a pen and a cellphone. Two issues that Biden confuses on a regular basis, which is why he has ink throughout his face. So, like most good concepts, Stay in Mexico, was easy and it labored. All it meant was that migrants touring by Mexico to say asylum right here needed to wait in Mexico for his or her instances to be heard in a U.S. court docket. Now, since progressives threw up each barrier to deportation they may consider, that might take three years. So, three years ready round however now on the Mexican aspect of the border. Phony asylum claims would plummet when, as an alternative of a luxurious lodge, they get a motel six. Not are you able to dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi’s hedges or screwing Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

BIDEN ADMIN FORMALLY ENDS TRUMP’S ‘REMAIN IN MEXICO’ IMMIGRATION POLICY 

And so, as anticipated, tent cities started to spring up down there. Mexico began trying as dangerous as downtown Seattle. And so rapidly, Mexico began imposing its personal southern border to maintain migrants out. Think about that? Stay in Mexico was such a good suggestion, it created two totally different southern borders. However since this concept was Trump’s, it needed to be undone. Which is like refusing to money in a successful lottery ticket since you do not just like the cashier’s tie. The left hates Trump a lot they arrive out in opposition to banging supermodels. Thanks. I feel that deserves applause. So it isn’t exhausting to see why the Republicans contemplate this supposed bipartisan border invoice as useless on arrival as Joe himself. It ought to by no means have been alive to start with. And to the horror of the media, Republicans aren’t falling for it. Which is why nutcases like Morning Joe now accuse Republicans and Trump of homicide.

MSNBC’S JOE SCARBOROUGH: Folks, as Mitt Romney stated, are struggling proper now. Fentanyl flooding throughout the border, unlawful immigrants streaming throughout the border, Democrats and Republicans within the Senate know cease it. And Home Republicans and Donald Trump will not do it. It’s immoral. 

What’s immoral, you gasbags, is your phony show of concern now, after three years of this crap. Both these two are silly or they’re plain silly. However they don’t seem to be good sufficient to faux to be this dumb. It’s deep. Fortunately, in contrast to these bozos, we’re not falling for it. The purpose is, Stay in Mexico nonetheless works, and simply as simply as Trump did it and Biden undid it, Biden can redo it. I imply, it isn’t like we’re asking him to tie his footwear or acknowledge his personal grandkid. No negotiations, no laws. We needn’t spend extra thousands and thousands on the border. That is b*****. Hell, for those who want cash, take what you constituted of promoting off the border wall and purchase your self a pleasant new pen. Then observe signing your title for those who can keep in mind it.

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